Bishonen Slumber Party for the Criminally Feminine
by GriffinFire
Summary: Full title -- Bishonen Slumber Party for the Criminal and Criminally Feminine. Zelos thinks he's invited ten girls to a slumber party. Then he discovers that not one of them is female... Crossover with Fire Emblem 7 and multiple mangas & animes.


Griff: Greetings to the Tales of Symphonia community! I am your friendly neighborhood GriffinFire, dreamer-upper of many story ideas and writer of few! ;; Allow me to introduce my muse, Donovan, originally from my only completed – and rather badly-written – fanfic, "Dragon's Daughter, Demon's Hope" in the Yu-Gi-Oh! category.

Donovan: *nods politely and promptly returns his attention to his book*

Griff: Well, I must admit this is one of my more inane ideas... And with Slink helping with the invitee list, this will be hectic indeed. *grins evilly* I simply adore it.

Donovan: *eyes the projected chapter titles with distaste* I'm... not in this fic, am I? *thinking* _Please, God, Ra, and Buddha, no!_

Griff: Nah, probably not.

Donovan: _Phew!_

Griff: This is a rather large crossover, including characters from, in addition to ToS, Fire Emblem 7, Gundam Wing, Fruits Basket, Fushigi Yuugi, and Hikaru no Go. There is a predicted ten chapters and bushels of silliness, so enjoy!

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Bishonen Slumber Party for the Criminal and Criminally Feminine

Chapter I – Invitations

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Zelos Wilder paused before the Meltokio Colosseum, watching the three young women who had just emerged from the building after defeating the monsters of the Colosseum's Intermediate Class challenge, conversing quietly among themselves. Yes, they would do nicely.

Two of them were tall and wearing pants, one with dark brown hair and a long blue coat, belted at the waist with a purpley-pink sash, from which hung a long sword. The other tall one had lavender hair held back from her face by a bandana and wore a dark cloak and a knife on each hip. The third girl was shorter, blonde, and wearing a blue robe – probably a mage. The trio's backs were to Zelos, and they were slowly moving away.

Tethe'alla's Chosen of Mana grinned as he separated three cards from the small stack he had in his hand. Zelos started forward and called to the three. "Fair ladies, wait a moment!"

The one in the blue coat stiffened visibly at this, and the lavender-haired one bent forward and began shaking slightly, as if laughing, but the blonde turned as Zelos caught up. She was very pretty, and had bright, blue eyes. "Oh! We're not—"

"Fair? But of course you are!"

"N-no!" She waved her hand negatively. "We're not g—"

"Gorgeous? Again, yes!"

"But—"

"But nothing! Here, these are for you and your friends." Zelos closed the blonde's hand around the cards before she could object again, and walked quickly past the three and into the nearby weapons shop.

Karel was looking extremely twitchy and Legault was still fighting to control his laughter as Lucius read the topmost card:

_Zelos Wilder cordially invites you to an overnight_

_party, two nights hence beginning at seven o' clock_

_post-meridian, at his home in the city of Meltokio._

_(It's the biggest house after the Castle – you can't miss it!)_

* * * * *

Zelos had set out that morning with ten engraved, gold-embossed invitations, meaning to give them to the first ten female strangers he met, for the sake of "broadening his horizons," or so he told his butler. After all, there were only so many girls native to Meltokio, and he'd already met them all.

Another strange girl had entered the weapons shop, Axios, moments before, and was asking the shopkeeper about scythes – said shopkeeper was rather confused about the request for farming equipment. This girl was in her mid-teens and was dressed all in black, including her hat, and had a long brown braid that trailed down her back. Zelos tapped her on the shoulder, and she turned her wide violet eyes on him, not batting an eyelash as he smiled winningly.

"Yeah?" she asked casually. "What do you want?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to come to a party."

The brunette rested an elbow on the counter and looked Zelos up and down. "I don't think I know you…"

"No," he replied, winking. "But it's for newcomers to Meltokio. Especially pretty ones... like you."

The girl blinked, as if confused. "Wha—?"

The Chosen quickly shoved an invitation into her hand. "Just come." He gave her a final grin, and sauntered out of the shop.

Duo Maxwell, Gundam pilot, read the invitation to himself, and wondered silently what the heck he'd gotten himself into.

* * * * *

Our hero paused as he spied two girls just outside Sancta Cassius, the local inn, apparently discussing a maid's uniform that the taller of the two, who had white hair and wore a red dress, was holding. The other had sandy hair and was dressed in a pink kimono, much like those worn by the women of Mizuho, and both were quite as pretty as the blonde from the first group had been.

Zelos sidled up to the pair with his "charming" face on. "Excuse me," he purred. The two turned to look at him. "I'm sure two such lovely ladies as you would enjoy a party hosted by yours truly...?"

The taller one's eyebrows shot upwards into her hair as she cocked her head, looking at him with large golden eyes. The one in pink smiled so sweetly that Zelos thought he would melt – and he didn't think that very often.

"That sounds like fun," she said, beaming.

The young man had to fight hard to keep the pink hearts from popping into his eyes. "Here," he said. "Take these, then." He handed two invitations to the girl and broke away to scamper up the large stairway leading to Castle Tethe'alla.

"Well," said the white-haired "girl," draping an arm over his younger cousin's shoulder as he read his invitation. "Seems a perfect opportunity for MAN'S ROMANCE!"

"Yes, brother Ayame," sighed Ritsu Sohma, crossdresser.

* * * * *

Zelos grinned as he approached the Castle. He'd already given out six of his invitations – he was more than halfway done! And there were two more young women, talking on the castle steps. Both wore rich-looking clothing, one with brown hair in a loose ponytail, the other with purple in a braid.

Running out of things to say and eager to return home after the day's exercise, Zelos flashed the pair a toothy grin, greeted them politely, and presented them with an invitation each before starting purposefully into Castle Tethe'alla itself, leaving Hotohori, Emperor of Hong-Nan, and Nuriko, the second crossdresser the Chosen had encountered, rather confused.

* * * * *

As he entered the Castle, Zelos congratulated himself on his excellent luck – for there was yet another strange young woman...

... Seated on the floor, along with the King of Tethe'alla.

Zelos closed his eyes firmly, then opened them and looked again. Both the woman and the king were still on the floor, and they were playing some sort of game. The woman was using a folded fan to point at the stones, some black and some white, that had been placed on a wooden board.

Zelos started towards the two gamers, and the king turned to look at him, then stood to greet him. The woman followed suit. She was dressed in a white outfit with very wide sleeves, and pants more poofy than any pants had the right to be. A tall black hat rested atop her hair, which was also black.

"Greetings, Chosen," the king said, smiling.

"Your majesty," Zelos replied, and bowed. "Who is your friend?"

"This is Fujiwara-no-Sai, my new _go_ instructor." He gestured towards the woman, who nodded to the Chosen.

"A pleasure," he said politely, and quickly pressed an invitation into her hand, winking. "I'll see you later." He bowed again to the king, and left.

As Sai read the invitation, little hearts bubbled up around his head. He smiled for sheer delight, and returned to his teaching game with the king.

* * * * *

Skipping down the Castle's steps, Zelos realized suddenly that he had no cards left in his hand. He counted mentally the girls he had given invitations to – after several tries, it still came to nine. He should have been left with one card.

Had he given two to one girl by mistake? No, he was sure that wasn't it. Perhaps one had slipped from his hand, had dropped to the ground. Yes, probably. But it could have been anywhere in the city – it was no use looking.

No matter, Zelos thought. Nine girls was plenty to keep track of overnight.

Whistling happily, still jovial, the Chosen pranced on home.

* * * * *

In front of Belteon, Meltokio's item shop, a blond figure dressed all in white bent to pick up an abandoned piece of paper from the dusty ground.

Mithos Yggdrasill read the engraved, gold-embossed invitation... and grinned.

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Griff: Bwahahahahahaha!!!!

Donovan: -.-;; I thought this was a _humor_ fic...?

Griff: It is... mostly. Well, how'd you like it? It'll get funnier, I promise! And the rest of the chapters will probably be longer, too. I hope to get the next chapter up soon. In the meantime, review please!


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